Recently I have been allowing myself to be anxious and stressed out. Instead of taking all of my anxieties and worries and throwing them at the feet of Jesus, I’ve been internalizing and trying to handle my stress on my own. This leads to unhealthy ways of handling it which affects my kids, my husband, and my own health. It doesn’t matter how we handle it, if we don’t go to Jesus, read our bible, pray and ask for help, it leads to trouble. At least in my life.

I know all moms have struggles. If you don’t, you’re lying! Ha! Maybe if I share some of my struggles you won’t feel alone. You can think “It’s not just me!” I know this sounds bad, but I think we are all a little relieved when we hear moms struggling with the same issues. We can share ideas, but most importantly, pray for one another. Whether you have one child or 8 (like me) or even more, it’s a daily decision to give our anxieties over to the One who can handle them.

I have two kids leaving for college this fall. I honestly know I don’t have the strength on my to do this again 6 times. I’m already allowing myself to worry about what might happen when they get to college.

My oldest daughter, 20, will be leaving for the second time. She had a terrible epileptic event last fall which put her in the hospital for 2 weeks, rehab appts for 2 months, and more healing emotionally and physically after that. She is passionate about her college, her church there, and her major, which is journalism/media production. Needless to say, this is causing me a lot of anxiety. I will share her story some time on another post.

My second son, 18, will be going to the same college. I’m going to miss him. He makes me laugh and brings lightness to stressful situations. He is super smart. So much so that he passed me up in homeschooling math several years ago! Just knowing that he will be off on his own soon brings many emotions. It will be so with all of my children.

My twins….they will be turning 16 next month. Can you say driving? Yes, we are preparing both of them to get their license by trying to get in their 50 hours each. That’s a lot of practice driving, gripping the door, closing my eyes and praying. They are doing wonderfully, but still there is that learning curve. People in Seattle are road ragers it seems. That stupid bumper sticker that says “student driver”means nothing if you are slowing them down for the next red light. Being this age brings a lot of changes….they are great kids, but the things kids struggle with these days is rough–social media being one. They are never disconnected very long from anything. They are also very smart and finishing up their second year in public school.

I homeschool my last four little blessings. They are ages 8 and under. I would not be lying if I say some days i’m just plain lonely. That sounds ridiculous! It’s hard to share life’s struggles when you are home with people under 8 most of the day. Our two youngest struggle with their emotions. There is a lot of yelling, crying, hitting, and more crying. Did I mention injuries? This is partly because they are all boys. Someone in our nursery at our homeschool co-op said Elias has problems hitting. She says they just protect the other kids. Yikes! Well, he has 5 older brothers who rough house him constantly.

There is the sadness of watching our youngest grow into a toddler. Knowing he is our last baby makes me sad. “It’s been a good run. Time to grow old,”as my husband would say.

There’s the stress of feeling like there is never enough time with my husband. We joke that one day all our kids will be gone and we won’t know each other. It’s not really funny. We try to get in time together, but it’s very difficult.

Summer. Yep. This causes me anxiety. Maybe another post on that! Even with homeschooling and being used to most of my kids home all the time, the schedule changes, the driving kids around, the expectations of the older kids, and the myriad of choices of things to do causes me stress. My husband and I are working on planning some things, but that doesn’t change the day to day.

These are just a few of my recent struggles. But, behind all this is a daily choice to be thankful. Even when I don’t seem thankful, my heart is usually there. I am humbled every day by what God has entrusted to me with His help.

Proofreading this makes me feel like a real basket case. But, maybe some of you can relate. Whether you are sending kids to college, taking care of babies, or all of it and everything in between, may you rest in Hope.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NASB) Therefore, we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

Blessings,

Sonya